RR30: Long Live Loneliness
Feat. Model: @jackie.what
“If everybody is doing it one way, there's a good chance you can find your niche by going exactly in the opposite direction.” - Sam Walton
“Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.”
― Saint Augustine
Very often, I feel completely alone. How is that possible? I have an amazing, beautiful wife who supports and believes in what i’m building. I have 3 amazing kids who are always around. I have friends, family and business acquaintances who support me. I have promoters, haters and the strength of God inside me and sometimes I still feel completely alone. And it’s completely okay. Learning to be lonely will be a massive asset to your growth both personally and professionally.
Disclaimer: Some people struggle with mental illness and it can cause loneliness. This is not the kind I’m ranting about today. I’m talking about the kind of loneliness caused by an individual’s positive choices and actions.
I’m not saying you’ll always be alone. I’m not saying you should aspire to loneliness. What I am saying is that temporary loneliness will likely be a by-product of your drive and your success. Embrace it. Feed off it. Learn to be alone for important moments and you will dominate your competition.
Out-Pace the Pack
The fastest runner tends to be way out front.... the more alone the better. The greatest success stories of our time began alone.... on a basket basketball court practicing the same shot for hours and hours alone... In a garage creating computer processor boards alone (Apple Computer)... alone in a gym after hours on a Friday night training. There are a million examples but you get the point. The hours I spent alone training, studying, praying and preparing are the hours that built me. That alone time was a prerequisite for the incredible music we produce, the images we make and pretty much everything about me. By now you all know the importance and emphasis I place on teamwork and I still do. Together is always best. The point of this rant is to encourage those who with or without a solid team still struggle with feeling alone in their journey.
The Power of Alone
This phenomenon occurred to me at a young age. I remember back in high school when my friends were hanging out or attending dances or parties I was locked in my room practicing my guitar for 4 - 6 hours per day. I was obsessed, committed and focused. Now there’s nothing wrong with my friends hanging out. I did as well from time to time. But I quickly became an absolute beast on the guitar and it led to so many incredible opportunities. I remember feeling alone... until I was up on stage in front of thousands of people with my best friends in the world. The loneliness paid off... big time. And I still experience this all the time. It’s never easy to feel like the world is passing you by. I’ll be up late. Training, preparing, writing, editing, creating and dreaming. My competition sits around enjoying their spoils while I’m digging deeper and pushing myself further and harder than I ever have. While others are on cruise control I’m inventing the next gear.
Am I so special? Not at all. I’m merely focused. Obsessed. Committed. I’m all in and willing to stop at nothing to hit my full potential and succeed.
I know what I was born to do and born be and I refused to accept anything less than complete total victory.
Leverage Your Loneliness
We all struggle with this to some degree. The question is not if you will feel alone from time to time but how will you spend he time when it occurs. Be self-aware when you feel these emotions and leverage them. Realize that it’s your signal to dig deeper... to better understand yourself... and to grow/ expand. Be at peace knowing you that in your loneliness you have tremendous opportunity. Don’t waste it. Don’t feel sorry for yourself but rather use those emotions to dream, create and hustle. (Call me anytime you’re in this place and I’ll hit you with some encouragement).
The problem with loneliness
Nobody wants to be alone. It’s why the first thing we do when we wake up or go to bed is jump on “social” media. We crave community and interaction with others. We crave the support and approval of others. We crave their “likes” and their “comments”.... more “followers”. We want the love and admiration of the world. We want the spoils of kingship without the battles and responsibilities of ruling. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this. It’s how we were made. We are better together. We are better as a team. But until you find that team that truly will run with you no matter what there will be periods of deep loneliness... and it’s okay.
Darkest Before the Dawn
When you take massive action and run hard after your goals people will first criticize you. No one who is stuck in average thinking wants to see someone rise above it. People tend to act like anchors that drag you down when you’re trying to keep rowing. They may have good intentions but so much of this criticism is rooted in envy and jealousy. Be aware of these “friends” and “family”. Toss that anchor back to them and completely discard the criticism of people who don’t see your vision. It’s your vision.
Go read Revo Rant: ”Cut Away” for more
These same people will become your greatest promoters one day. Even the critics you never knew will begin to admire and endorse you. They will start chasing and copying you but it’ll be too late to catch you. At this point you’ll be comfortable being out front and being alone from time to time. You’ll also be in a position to work with whatever team you want. You’ll surround yourself with like-minded people who share your visions and compliment your weaknesses.
I know you feel alone in your current circle. I can assure you, you are in amazing company. Stick to your vision and step up your activity level. Continue to become the person you were born to be. You will succeed or you will quit. Don’t quit.
Please contact me if you need encouragement on your journey.
Let’s be alone together!
Jason | Owner